Ground your helicopter
Every parent wants their own children to spend time playing, having fun with friends, and exploring the world around them. But the shape of childhood is changing to incorporate more online spaces, more supervision, and more structure. While undoubtedly safety is a higher priority for today’s parents, an essential part of childhood is being lost and it’s about more than just nostalgia.
Reminiscing on childhood seems to come with a prerequisite sense that ‘things were better back then’ – whether ‘back then’ was 10 years ago or 50. The tales of bygone eras reach new levels of one-upmanship as they detail risk taking, the escapades of latchkey kids, and unrivalled adventures.
These stories are full of nostalgia for a ‘free-range’ childhood – we all enjoyed the play we experienced as kids – but in recent years, childhood has shifted as it becomes more ‘phone-based’ and less ‘play-based’.
Why does childhood look so different now?
The shift is not so much of a mystery when we consider how – rightly – safety conscious parents have become. The world seems scarier than ever for a multitude of reasons, and we all want more control over keeping children safe. It’s a natural progression as the world changes.
Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, suggests that the rapid digital revolution saw families jump quickly from childhoods full of independence, to those filled with supervision – with technology like phones, computers and tablets counting as supervision. Instead of striking a healthy balance, things accelerated in the opposite direction.
Now, smartphones and the internet are so ingrained in every aspect of life – from school to socialising – it’s difficult to backtrack. It’s not as ‘simple’ as the near impossible task of removing phones from childhood. However, phone-centred time needs to be supplemented and replaced, where possible, with real-life, independent times of play.
“If parents don’t replace screen time with real-world experiences involving friends and independent activity, then banning devices will feel like deprivation, not the opening up of a world of opportunities,” Haidt says.
The benefits of unsupervised play
It’s important to remember that unsupervised play does not necessarily equate to dangerous play. Instead, think of it as ‘independent play’ or ‘child-led play’. In these settings, adult supervision can be present, but the kids call the shots, creating their own games, deciding how to interact with those around them without adult intervention.
- Free play helps to build basic skills as children explore the world around them and their peers, testing their capability and learning new things.
- Children can overcome their fears and anxieties as they navigate play on their own.
- Independence is nurtured as children rely less on their parents.
- Social bonds are strengthened as relationships and connections are fostered without adult intervention.
- Resilience grows as children experience small things going wrong, learn how to problem solve, and understand when they are in the wrong and needing to apologise.
Independent play at Trinity’s Preparatory School
Since 2024, students from Trinity’s Prep School have had a new opportunity available to them in the form of Free Play afternoons. Parents are asked to stay away, and staff stand at a distance, supervising for safety but not interrupting or interfering with the students’ creativity and formation of play on their own terms.
“The focus is on the boys as they use personal problem solving and channel their creativity to invent games and play freely,” says Mr Chris Wyatt, Head of the Preparatory School.
Taking place in the Somerset Playground (otherwise known as the Infants Playground), the students have access to a range of different areas including a basketball court, climbing equipment, a nature playground with a water pump, an open area, a new adventure playground and a bike track.
Mr Wyatt says that Free Play afternoons exist to challenge ‘boredom’ and to foster essential independence skills for every student.
“Several parents have commented that they have ‘real’ fears about things going wrong or their son being taken advantage of,” Mr Wyatt says. “I appreciate this and don’t want to diminish the potential for things to go wrong. I want to encourage parents to take developmentally appropriate risks and make this an ongoing process of ‘risk assessment’ to ensure opportunities for growth evolve along with your son’s maturity.
“Part of this is evaluating our anxiety and how realistic our concerns are as adults and parents.”
Independent doesn’t mean alone
When your child takes part in independent play – whether at home, at school or anywhere! – it’s a great opportunity to engage with them about the kinds of activities they like to do, the fun games they dream up and the interactions they have with others while they’re playing. Unlike a phone-based childhood that can be hard to bond over – especially if you’re not familiar with the online spaces they’re navigating – a play-based childhood is something we can all find common ground with.
Mr Wyatt and the staff at the Prep School suggest making time to ask your child questions after their independent play to understand what they’re getting up to, appropriately assess risks, and discuss the wins and challenges. This could be over dinner, on the car ride home, or any other time where reflection can be utilised. Questions can include:
- What was your favourite part of the afternoon?
- What kinds of games did you play?
- Who did you play with?
- Did you find anything tricky while you were playing?
Remember to keep the questions open-ended and to not feel responsible for ‘fixing’ anything that may have gone wrong. Talk it through and ask what they might do differently next time.
Unsupervised play is for the big kids too
When students reach Middle and Senior School, they’re more likely to lead their own ‘independent play’, even if it doesn’t quite look like it did in the younger years. Equally, they’re more likely to fall into the FOMO trap of a phone-based adolescence.
Trinity’s Field Studies Program is designed to combat this – bringing in real-life experiences to supplement and replace phone-based activities. Supervision is present but there are plenty of times throughout the mandatory term-long program when students need to take initiative, entertain themselves, problem solve, navigate social relationships, and guide their own growth journey.
In all the same ways as unsupervised play for younger students, the Field Studies Program fosters in each student:
- Optimism and confidence that he can achieve success in the learning ahead of him because he has overcome challenges in the past, so knows he can do it again.
- Belonging as he connects to and values the place in which he learns.
- Self-management and independence as he develops a set of behaviours that allow him to deal with obstacles such as periods of demotivation, competing priorities, and frustration.
- Resilience and adaptability as he uses his mistakes as motivation to discover new strategies and embrace escalating challenges.
“The boys gain a lot in terms of improved self-esteem and confidence as they overcome challenges and realise their capabilities,” says Mr Tim Knowles, Head of the Field Studies Centre. “They reflect on how much more independent they are and that they have built stronger relationships with their peers.”
“They have an opportunity to develop a true sense of agency, taking charge of many more aspects of their daily living and organisation than they would at home, as well as owning their academic commitments and managing assessment workloads.”
While the Field Studies Program is a mandatory experience within a Trinity education, it is far from the only opportunity that students have to engage in independent activities. Earlier this year, students from the Community Service Co-Curricular took part in the ‘Winter Sleepout’; while the experience was primarily to help students to understand the experiences of those less fortunate than themselves, it also gave them an opportunity to engage in a night with minimal supervision as they made choices that directly impacted their experience.
“The students had to look for a place in the School that had some shelter from the wind as well as minimal lighting,” says Ms Cathy Yarad, who oversaw the Winter Sleepout. “Some boys were sensible enough to set themselves up away from the breeze, but many were in the path of wind coming directly off the oval.”
Overseen by staff but largely left to their own devices, the students were able to shape their own learning experience, getting as much fun out of it as they did life lessons.
“Sometimes [teachers] comment about students losing the ability to be resilient due to the immediate access to information and the amount of assistance available to them compared to the older generations,” Ms Yarad says. “Opportunities to think outside the box, deal with changes, and problem solve will always benefit students for the future.”
The Winter Sleepout is just one example of the ways in which older students are encouraged to take control of their own time, engaging in activities that enrich, inspire, and challenge – without the constant guidance of staff, parents, or other adults.
Whether children are in their Primary years or looking towards their final year of Senior School, independent play is important for all students. Fostering agency, inspiring creativity, and giving opportunities for new relationships to be built, unsupervised play is how all humans learn what they enjoy, what they don’t like, who they get along with, and how not to be bored.
With all of this comes the risk of failure, hurt, and frustration. It’s understandable that parents want to run interference to protect their children but in the long run, being exposed to this risk is what makes them stronger, more resilient and well-rounded humans.
Through all these activities, whether at the FSC, at one of Trinity’s Sydney campuses, or at home, opportunities for independence are making Trinity students stronger in mind, body and spirit.
“The boys are learning about how to get on with one another, how to handle friction and disagreement, how to step into leadership and have a positive influence. These all transfer to the rest of their life,” Mr Tim Bowden, Headmaster says.
“They learn the skill of curiosity, how to do research; they have thought about the application between theory and research. This is stuff they will do for the rest of their life. Whatever our students do, whether they go on to university or not, they need to be able to continue to learn.”
